Catapult has three founders.
Catapult was borne with three founding principles. 1.
Consistency b. Focus and 2. Never allow those who have
influence over you to disrupt the way that you
do the things that you want to do. And to be better at
words. And why shouldn't everyone get what they want?
There's enough work and there's enough staff right?
Also, we should get a new freezer.
Catapult remains close to these core values and continues
to work toward a flatter, better defined future that has
fewer cabbage smelling things.
Meat the Teem
Steffen Wulff Peterson
Steffen can do 600 star-jumps without pausing while drinking 7 litres
of fish oil and blended oysters. He has a tendancy to throw up soon after
excercise. Sometimes during. On one memorable occasion he tried to run a
marathon while holding his breath. This is something he wouldn't recommend.
After hearing about a 'flea circus' as a child, Oli spent 4 years
trying to make one. The only outcome of this endeavour was an angry
elephant, a squashed match-box and a two-foot, four-inch version of
Stone Henge. No flea ever bought a ticket.
Co-Founder & CTO
Ben once cut his own finger off trying to whittle an acorn into a
1:1 scale model of the HMS Endeavour, while holidaying in the
Faroe Islands. It was experiences like this that make him the
ruthless Hungry Hungry Hippos player he is today.
Jette makes all of her own clothes, with mixed success. Sneezes frequently.
Cannot be fed after midnight and must be kept away from sunlight. Likes to sing.
Kevin Edwards is part of the development team. He spends his days
grimacing at his screen, his lunch and the people around him.
Is deeply allergic to criticism and onions. He is very proud of
his collection of unusual moulds.
Matus's father claimed to have invented the question mark and often
accused squirrels of being lazy. This hasn't affected Matus's love
for Peruvian arthouse cinema, of which his knowledge is extensive.
He was lucky enough to appear as an 'indifferent dishwashing tablet'
in Aiko Domingo Calvo's 2013 tour de force "When Will It Should Are
Daniel joins Catapult after spending some time as a reigning monarch
in a long-forgotten, aquatic city. After taking his Sensei's advice,
he toured the Dutch canal systems to 'open his mind.' They were apparently
the most enlightening 12 minutes of his life. Was once a spy but doesn't
think anyone knows. Favourite colour: Presumption.
After inventing a series of clicks that allowed her to communicate
with gerbils, Sarah discovered the incredible gerbil secret: That
gerbils are fantastically boring. Like, seriously boring. She doesn't
like to talk about those 7 years of her life. Her love for optical
representations of data came about after reading 'QR codes and Sugar
Lumps' for the 18th time.
"I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE" was Cameron's strong introduction to the office.
We can't be sure, but we think this might be inaccurate.
The self-proclaimed most quizzical gazelle in the toolshed at the age of 6, Frederik lists among his many talents
counting to Wednesday, walking and "thinking more sideways." Is a semi-amateur door bell and part-time cloud.
Georgia found the Arc of the Covenant buried in North Africa when
she fell into an old tomb filled with snakes. She can play any
musical instrument as long as it's painted yellow. Fond of marshmallow.
Eoin describes himself as a "polysyllabic epicurean philanthropist" though no-one is sure why. Or what he means.
Once the second highest rated Blidge player in Coventry, beaten in the 1957 final by Colin "Quick Draw" McCaster
who was, years later disqualified after playing under the influence of Jazz.
Dimitris is a straight-shooter with middle management written all over
him. He can speak 15 languages, nearly all of which he invented,
including, he claims, Welsh. His proudest moment was when he completed
Super Mario World 3 without dying.
After accidentally founding a major world religion Andreas distanced himself from public life and pursued
a career in, apparently "genetically engineering tea-towels." When asked what super power he would like most he
simply answered "The one I have is fine thank you." Can actually fly.
Hanson Ojo (no relation) joins the team after manning an exciting solo expedition to the bottom of the sea.
Unfortunately due to some questionable research and cheap ocean charts, the water turned out to be only 7 inches deep.
Georgina's highest claim is that she once lifted the corner of the Eiffel Tower when a crepe-seller got their apron strings trapped underneath. As a thank you the crepe-seller gave Georgina 3 magic beans, which turned out to be just regular beans.
An excellent cook from an early age, Rory was in the 2012 semi-finals
for Man Sandwich (like the Great British Bake Off but on the Isle of Man).
Unfortunately he was disqualified after it emerged that he was liberally
coating his trademark Rory's Roe & Ricotta Rarebit with illegal stimulants.
The episode, sadly, never aired, in part due to the amount of expletives
issued by the judges.
Matt learned to work well under pressure as a child when his father pushed him to
become a dancer, when all he wanted to do was be a footballist. Unfortunately, Matt
was terrible at both footballing and dancing, and his ill-advised attempt to combine
the two by dropping a foxtrot on the pitch at his local cup final was poorly received.
Charlie hasn't seen his own reflection since he contracted catoptrophobia when he
was 7 after watching the last episode of Battlestar Galactica. No one really knows
why. Favourite animal is, apparently, a zucchini.
It is said that Annabella's Grandfather is to be born in 45 years and will accidentally time travel to the 1960's
where he will embark on many adventures, meet the Queen, invent Lithium Iron batteries, win a run down french chateaux
in a game of chance only to lose it 2 weeks later in a horse race and defeat a fleet of angry robots. He also likes to drink.
Ben owns 13 fishing rods of various types and sizes, two boats, three of
those little tents you see by canals and reservoirs, buckets, catapults,
little fold-away stools, wellies that come up to his nipples and three
subscriptions to Anglers Weekly. "You must really like fishing," we asked.
Will joins Catapult in both his official capacity, and also as a professional
'sugar daddy' - a term translated from his native Dutch ('Anatar'), which
means 'the giver of gifts.' Is an excellent player of 'Crash Bandicoot'
and a staunch supporter for the welfare of ants.
Was well on his way to becoming an Olympic high diver when his career
was cut horribly short by accidentally taking Viagra(tm) just before
attempting a triple choc tuck with semi-back twist in front of over
10,000 onlookers. Speedo(tm) withdrew sponsorship after he made something of a splash.
A strong example of Nominative Determinism, Sales Ed has had a long career in Salesed, a traditional form of Egyptian
martial arts based primarily around ringing bells, which to the untutored eye looks exactly like Morris Dancing.
Claims to have invented both the funicular railway and the "Pencil-lollipop".
Tim Tim Brown
Tim "Walled garden" Brown is a proficient whistler and fearsome tap-dancer. Only eats food prepared on yellowish plates.
Was a horse whisperer. Then her throat got better.
Laura was chased by flying monkeys after she stole some shoes, kidnapped a
kind of android and thieved some farming equipment and a pet. The flying monkeys
didn't catch her and she was free to unmask an individual who was swindling
dozens of people with simple trickery.
Scott earned his name 'The Shark Tamer' after he befriended 13 great white
sharks off the coast of South Africa. He was apparently able to manage this
feat by constructing a 12ft long shark costume made out of plywood and bubblegum.
Anne thinks she is invisible to the human eye every second Friday between 6.45 and 11.03.
After losing an eye in the early 80's Rory had a pioneering electronic device installed which allowed him to actually see
the truth. There followed a decade of solving some of the most perplexing criminal cases the Isle of Man has ever seen.
Annabel's decision to learn Kung-Fu came in an epiphany after climbing the highest peak in Suffolk (96 meters)
and discovering what she believed was a butterfly unknown to science, but turned out to just be a butterfly.
Welcomes criticism, though only through the medium of Semaphore and only in Finnish.
Molly is the great-granddaughter of Sir Oscar Hiddlesthorpe, the
great adventurer, philanthropist and phrenologist. Molly has very
firmly followed in her great-grandfather's footsteps of adventure,
though not literally. His footsteps ended abruptly in Indonesia,
while searching for the fountain of youth.
Author of the book 'How to Eat Your Own Sunglasses' and 'Whence?'
Gabriella is something of a literary sensation on the Pacific
island of Tonga where, unfortunately, she has never had the
opportunity to visit. Fanatical about Fans. She's a fan fan.
Megan claims she spent much of her childhood in a magical wonderland
she found in the back of a wardrobe. Where there was some kind of
big dog or something and a cold lady. She also invented her own
type of shoe, that is also a chair.
Equally versed in both Danish and Campanology, Stan brings to
Catapult his deep understanding of 16th century devout cocktail
making and the strength co-efficiency of sun dried terracotta.
Previous roles include: DJ, VJ, Relay, Melee and OBE.
Voted most likely to sculpt a paperclip into a unicorn in under
12 seconds. Didn't.
When asked why she wanted to work for Catapult Flo replied "Barcodes are the mark of the devil."
"Is that not an inverted cross or Golden Arches (tm) or something?"
"No! It's barcodes. That's how the devil knows what's his and what he has to ask before he can use"
Attempted to hold the record for moon walking on the actual moon,
which was both a materially and financially costly exercise.
It was only after spending upwards of 100 billion and landing on
the moon that Eman realised that he can't actually moon walk.
When asked who Akshay most looked up to he replied "That guy with the flying car"
"The one who steals kids?"
"No, Doc Brown. He's also a wrapper"
Erica grew up believing that humans should eat sand but don't because it doesn't taste as good as cabbage.
Has walked the length of the Kennet and Avon canal in a snail costume, though she won't say why.
Scared of ground almonds. Talented marionette puppeteer. Makes good tea.
Ed was accidentally turned into a spatular when he was a child and had to spend a week in a kitchen draw.
It was here that he learned to communicate directly with The Universe and allowed him to make a deal whereby
he offers lifelong servitude but always has comfortable shoes.
Influenced by the great cartographer Billious "is that my sandwich?" Cornapple, Tom set out, at the age of 12 to chart the previously unknown
island of Sniffle off the coast of Norfolk. His charts, complete with original drawing of dragons can be found in his parents attic.
Leonie St Agne
Leonie has asked to be moved to Catapult satellite offices no less than seventeen times, and is visibly disappointed
each time she learns that space travel is still not a part of the company structure. Likes Oranges, dislikes noticeable gravity.
Kate immediately regretted bringing her Creature to life on that fateful, thundery night in Transylvania. The torch wielding mob
who charged the castle gates were however disappointed when the Creature turned out to be a Furby(tm) in a bow tie.
Laurita owns every book published by Mootle and Permberidge, a little known
publisher of "frenetic anthropology" working out of Stewart Island.
Hasn't read any though.
When asked to list her top five skills, Adelaide simply replied with
"I am Batman." While it seems unlikely, we've seen no evidence to the contrary.
Polly was 5 years old before she spoke her first words, which were
"I'm not entirely convinced of your argument mother, but I'll wear the
owl costume to keep you happy." Winner of the Worst Owl Custume (under sevens)
at the bi-anual Cement Mixers dinner and dance, Caracas.
Miryam was, after helping a stranger to see the colour 'minestrone', given a magic pencil-case that could turn anything placed within to purest Bitcoin.
Little is known about the stranger, the pencil case, nor Miryam, all of which disappeared during an exciting car chase scene through downtown Bicester, Oxfordshire.
Miryam was later found drinking a cold cup of tea in a busy cafe outside the M25.
Scared of spiders and rats, but so much greater is her fear of giant
mutant rat-spiders that catch people in massive nets in order to steal
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